People
By Michele Orecklin
OH, GROW UP!
Singer/songwriter Ryan Adams, 27, is a self-described tortured soul who recounts the minutiae of his romantic failings in harrowing biographical songs. Singer/songwriter Bryan Adams, 43, is a sunny Canadian whose songs are crafted with lapidary precision for Top 40 radio and the playlist of wedding bands. Apparently some of Ryan's more puerile fans find the similarity of their names an irresistible opportunity for humor. At a recent Ryan Adams concert in Nashville, Tenn., a fan shouted out a request for Summer of '69, a Bryan Adams song. Get it? Ryan stopped playing, insisted the lights be turned on, unleashed a torrent of expletives, dug $30 out of his pocket to give the man a "refund," then refused to start playing again until the man was banished from the venue. The fan was intercepted by the general manager and relocated to a balcony. Which raises the question: Who's more immature, Ryan Adams or his fans?
Yankee, Come Here
Former politicians are supposed to retire to lucrative consulting jobs in white-shoe offices. Rudy Giuliani has got the lucrative part down, but he has agreed to reimmerse himself in the same urban mayhem he faced and tamed as mayor of New York City. Giuliani and his consulting firm have been hired by Mexico City to help combat its alarming incidence of murders, kidnappings and drug trafficking. For the effort, the firm will be paid $4.3 million, to be coughed up by wealthy private citizens. Because of the magnitude of the problems confronting the city of 20 million, the expense seems warranted. Ineffective laws, an often corrupt police force and widespread poverty have given the city the second highest crime rate in Latin America after Bogota, Colombia. Rudy, after you clean up Mexico City, there's a pesky problem in Kabul...
WE'RE ON THE LIST
They're the young female scions of two famous and famously controversial families. As such, they have entree into any happening event in any city, and they use it. Their forays are the topic of endless discussion. Here's a look at their social calendars for the past few months--who do you think is having more fun?
*KELLY OSBOURNE
NEW YORK at the fashion shows with P. Diddy, above
LOS ANGELES at the Emmys with her family
AUSTRALIA at the ARIA music awards
LOS ANGELES at the MTV Movie Awards, where she made her debut performing Papa Don't Preach
LOS ANGELES at the club The Roxy on the Sunset Strip
VARIOUS frequent strolls with boyfriend Bert McCracken
*CHELSEA CLINTON
LONDON at a Gianni Versace retrospective in a museum with Madonna, below
NEW YORK at the premiere of Red Dragon
NEW YORK at a party near the courts during the U.S. Open
NEW YORK at the Broadway musical Hairspray
BERKSHIRE, ENGLAND, at an AIDS fund raiser at the estate of Elton John
VARIOUS frequent strolls with boyfriend Ian Klaus
WE'RE STUCK WITH HIM
Most people--oh, let's just say it--most normal people find Steven, the Dell computer pitchman, extremely irritating and would rejoice at never again having to hear him say, "Dude, you're getting a Dell." But others--and not just shut-ins --are curiously attached to Steven (played by Ben Curtis). These people turned inconsolable last week upon hearing murmurs that Dell was retiring him from its campaign. The "Paul is dead"--like controversy erupted when Dell unveiled new ads and only one featured Steven. Dell explained that it was simply trying out a few new options and that Steven remains part of its image. Sadly for most of us, reports of Steven's demise were greatly exaggerated.
ANNALS OF BAD TASTE
Judgment So Poor It's Almost Criminal
THE BAND IS IN THE HOUSE, THE BIG HOUSE In the genre of reality programming, sex has been pretty much exhausted, so vh1 seems to be going for violence. A new series, Music Behind Bars, showcases the talents of would-be rock stars who have formed bands while doing time; the rocker-inmates include murderers, rapists, armed robbers and other unappealing types. vh1says the idea was to demonstrate the rehabilitative power of music, but after a Pennsylvania woman saw her daughter's killer in a promotional ad for the show, she called Pennsylvania Governor Mark Schweiker. He promised that in the future the state's department of corrections will notify victims' families if an offender will be seen on TV.
YOUR SERVER TONIGHT WILL BE KATO KAELIN Just because it's messy, unpleasant and illegal doesn't mean murder has to be bad for business. Vitello's, a Los Angeles Italian restaurant, is known to many as the eating establishment outside which Robert Blake's wife Bonny Lee Bakley was shot to death in her car in May 2001. Blake is in prison, accused of the crime. But Vitello's is open for business and will be host of a "murder-mystery party" next month. The owners say they had nothing to do with organizing the evening and that it has nothing to do with Blake. They say they merely accepted a booking from a patron who wanted to hold the theme party there.
A RECEIVER WHO ALSO GIVES
Most mothers warn their children not to run with scissors, but how many have had the foresight to forbid running with felt tips? From recent evidence, not the mother of Terrell Owens, star receiver for the San Francisco 49ers. After scoring a touchdown during last week's Monday-night game against Seattle, Owens pulled a Sharpie pen out of his sock, signed the ball and handed it to his financial adviser, who was sitting in the first row. Some, including NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue, found the stunt showy, but Owens was not fined for flagrant memorabilia creation. Instead, in a move akin to nabbing Al Capone for tax evasion, Owens was fined $5,000 for having his jersey untucked, an "equipment violation." Owens blamed the problem on opposing players tugging at his jersey. Maybe they just wanted an autograph.
AND THIS IS WHEN SHE'S DRESSED UP
In the video for her latest single, Dirty, Christina Aguilera is clearly trying to offend someone. Wearing chaps, leather underwear and a smirk, she writhes in pools of muddy water and hangs out with other similarly clad colleagues in a boxing ring. Despite all this effort, the video has not proved raunchy enough to earn the ultimate publicity coup: getting banned by MTV. Rather, it has offended the government of Thailand, a country not known to be coy about sexual matters. Officials are not objecting to the dance moves or what looks to be an orgy but to a pair of posters in the background written in Thai that refer to the country's sex industry. The Thai distributor for Aguilera's music label has decided not to air the video on local stations. Chances are, the effort by Thai officials to deny Thailand's reputation as a haven for libertine adventures should prove less of a problem for Aguilera than for Thailand's tourism industry.