People

By Michele Orecklin

LOPEZ IS THE MARRYING KIND

Few women in their 30s relish the ordeal of dating, but Jennifer Lopez, 33, appears to have a particular aversion to the practice. Her relationship history suggests that she prefers to experience the getting-to-know-you phase of courtship after the wedding. Her first two marriages took place within months of a first date; neither made it to a second anniversary. Now it appears she's ready to try again, this time with someone her fans, at least, don't have to be introduced to. Though her divorce from backup dancer and second husband Cris Judd will not be final until January (the two separated in June), she has become engaged to actor Ben Affleck, 30. Speculation about the couple's status has been fevered, abetted by their frequent lip-locked appearances in public and the impossible-to-overlook rock on her left hand. Their fame is such that Lopez will make the official announcement on network television when she appears this week on ABC's Primetime Live with Diane Sawyer. This will be Affleck's first marriage; fortunately, Lopez can show him the ropes.

The Butler Blabs

Paul Burrell, former butler to Princess Diana, took umbrage when he was charged with stealing hundreds of her personal items with the intention of profiting from their sale. He insisted he was merely safeguarding her image by keeping the belongings in his loyal hands. Now that he's been acquitted of the charges after the Queen stepped in to defend him, Burrell is profiting not from Diana's belongings but from her life story. The tabloid Daily Mirror has paid him a reported $400,000 for exclusive details of Diana's life, and he is singing like a canary, claiming that Diana smuggled lovers into her home while dressed in little more than a fur coat. Sparing the royal family, Burrell is instead indicting Diana's blood relations: he claims that Diana and her mother had stopped speaking and that one sister was a jealous shrew. "The Spencers found Diana unacceptable in life. But after her death, they found her very acceptable, at $16.50 a ticket," he said, referring to the cost of visiting her grave at the family's ancestral house. Et tu, Burrell?

SECOND ACTS

There are certain requirements for the host of the Academy Awards show: insulting celebrities in the audience, insulting oneself for a failed joke and repeatedly referencing the protracted length of the proceedings. In 2001 Steve Martin accomplished all with aplomb, and thus has been tapped to be host of the 75th-anniversary broadcast in March. Martin's appointment should cheer those who have had enough of Billy Crystal's opening medleys and of sitting through the applause for each of Whoopi Goldberg's costume changes. Martin, whose next film, Bringing Down the House, is due next spring, said in a statement that he was excited to be the host again "because fear and nausea always make me lose weight."

LITERARY FEUD, PART 1

WHOSE FOLKLORE?

On the face of it, a broomstick and a double bass don't seem to have much in common, but when both are employed as flying implements for bespectacled preteen orphans, similarities tend to emerge. The broomstick, as many know, is a mode of transportation for Harry Potter, star of the book series by British author J.K. Rowling. The musical instrument is used to similar effect by Tanya Grotter, protagonist of a popular book series by Russian author Dmitry Yemets. Tanya first showed up in August in Tanya Grotter and the Magical Double Bass, which sold 100,000 copies in Russia. Like Harry, Tanya is an orphan who resides in a world swirling with magic. Instead of a scar on her forehead like Harry's, however, Tanya has a mole on her nose. This distinction is not enough to pacify Rowling's publisher, which sent a cease-and-desist letter to Yemets' publisher. Yemets claims that while his book was intended in part as a parody of Rowling's, it is vastly different in that it draws from Russian folklore.

LITERARY FEUD, PART 2

A FELINE FUROR

Speaking of tales of adventuresome little boys: Not only did little-known author Yann Martel, below, win Britain's prestigious Man Booker Prize for fiction, but he is enjoying the good fortune of being embroiled in a literary feud, which should spike book sales even higher. Martel, a Canadian, won the Booker award for Life of Pi, the story of a shipwrecked boy who shares a lifeboat with a tiger. The book was released in the U.S. in June and ranks No. 23 on this week's New York Times best-seller list. In the Author's Note, Martel acknowledges that the "spark" for his novel was ignited by reading a review of Brazilian author Moacyr Scliar's 1981 novel, Max and the Cats, in which a shipwrecked boy is trapped in a boat with a panther. Scliar, left, thinks his idea is worthy of being considered more than a spark: he believes it constitutes intellectual property. His publishing house contemplated a lawsuit but has backed off. Scliar's bitterness, however, remains. "It's unfortunate," he said, "that now, when Brazilian literature is being abundantly mentioned abroad, it's because of this bizarre incident."

ONE POSH TO RULE THEM ALL

It is a measure of Victoria Beckham's fame that her rescue from a group of would-be kidnappers was only one of the major news stories she generated last week. There was also the matter of her new record deal and a squabble with a British soccer club over her name. Once known more popularly as Posh Spice, Beckham is currently half of England's most celebrated couple; she is married to soccer star David Beckham, who plays for Manchester United. Their combined profiles and incomes made her the target of a shadowy group of alleged art thieves who plotted to take hostage her and her two sons Brooklyn and Romeo for close to $8 million. The plot was foiled after Scotland Yard was tipped off by the tabloid News of the World, whose reporters had infiltrated the cabal. The thwarted kidnapping allowed tabloid reporters to revert to more fan-friendly matters. First came reports that Victoria had signed a new recording contract in an attempt to restart her solo career. That was followed by news that she was battling Peterborough United, a Second Division soccer club, over rights to her nickname. For 68 years, Peterborough has been known as The Posh. The club's attempt to register the moniker as a legal trademark was halted by Beckham, who claims that when she joined the Spice Girls in 1996, the name Posh became internationally associated with her. She may have a point: so far, no art thieves have been seen hovering around Peterborough's practice field.