By Michele Orecklin

A PERMANENT ENGAGEMENT?

Mere weeks before proposing to the ostensible love of his life, Aaron Buerge was sticking his tongue into the mouths of half a dozen other women. In real life, this would make him a cad. But it wasn't real life--it was reality TV. The titular hero of ABC's The Bachelor, Buerge, 28, a banker from Springfield, Mo., was the potential trophy husband for the 25 women who signed up to compete for an engagement ring. Each week he gamely narrowed the field, risking chapped lips and a sprained tongue as he squired the women to various restaurants and hot tubs. He finally settled on Helene Eksterowicz, 27, a New Jersey school psychologist. She enthusiastically accepted his marriage proposal before close to 28 million viewers, but in an interview the day after the finale aired, the two said they were taking things slowly.

Further Proof He's No Ward Cleaver

To greet fans gathered outside his hotel in Berlin, Michael Jackson covered the head of his infant son with a cloth and dangled him over the railing of a fourth-floor balcony. People all over the world were shocked: Michael Jackson still has fans? Despite his unnerving behavior of the past decade, there are still those eager for a glimpse of the singer, and he apparently wanted to reciprocate by showing off his offspring. Jackson has three children: Prince Michael I, age 5, and Paris, 4, by ex-wife Debbie Rowe, and Prince Michael II (mother unknown), the infant being waved in midair, who first surfaced about six months ago and who is believed to be roughly 8 months old. After worldwide condemnation of the balcony incident, Jackson issued a statement saying he had made a "terrible mistake"; the German police said they would not file any charges, as they had no evidence of a crime. The next day, Jackson took the two older kids to the zoo to demonstrate his parental skills, but the face-saving outing was marred by the face-obscuring headgear (inset) he made the children wear.

RUSSELL EXPLAINS IT ALL

He often complains about the intrusions of the media, but Russell Crowe can't seem to stop himself from giving them something to write about. In mid-November he was involved in a brawl in a crowded London restaurant. Then last week he explained in painstaking detail why he was canceling an upcoming U.S. tour with his band, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, and returning to Australia for a break. On the band's website, Crowe writes that he needs to be home for his father's surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome and explains that the past couple of years have brought him a "massive level of stress." Some of that stress apparently comes from speculation about his romantic dalliances outside his relationship with Australian actress-singer Danielle Spencer. "Let me clarify something else: I am in love with Danielle Spencer," Crowe writes. "I feel a great need to wake up with her as many days of my life as I can." A simple "I'm tired" would probably have sufficed.

POETIC JUSTICE

Whether poetry or pharmaceuticals have done more to benefit the human condition is a debate best left to philosophers. But it's clear that as of last week, pharmaceuticals have contributed more to poetry than the other way around. Ruth Lilly, 87, heiress to the Eli Lilly drug fortune, donated $100 million to the 90-year-old journal Poetry. The esteemed Chicago-based publication has a staff of four, and editor Joe Parisi said it has been in danger of folding at least eight times because it lacked funds. Lilly's generosity is all the more impressive considering that in the past, she submitted several of her own poems for publication and all were rejected.