It's Payback Time For Paris

By Bruce Handy/Glynis Sweeny

Talk about sore winners! The White House revealed last week that it's exploring ways to "punish" the French for their opposition to the war in Iraq.

I know--let's make 'em all bathe.

Ha ha.

Good one, sir.

Further French persnicketiness leads to the inevitable...

Alors! They've hit Chirac's residence!

And Georges Duboeuf's!

U.S. ground troops encounter fierce disdain.

The humvee is the ultimate symbol of America's military and cultural hegemony.

And the cut of those fatigues--bah!

Despite pockets of hauteur, the U.S. declares its mission complete.

France has fallen--but Freedomland has risen!

Adding insult to injury, the White House appoints an "administrator" who isn't always attuned to local sensitivities.

The Freedomlanders can choose any kind of government they want--as long as it's pro-American, pro-globalization, and pro--Happy Meal!

Meanwhile, Administration hawks set their sights on new trouble spots...

We've got the coordinates on the Dixie Chicks concert.

Commence launch sequence...