Look! Up on the Front Page, It's ...

By Bruce Handy/Glynis Sweeny

Metropolis. Wednesday afternoon. Lois Lane is in TROUBLE?

Clark! Jimmy! HELP!!!

Lois! What's wrong?!

This story. It's--it's UNMEMORABLE! Now I'll never be a newsroom star!

SOB!!!! All I ever wanted was an occasional lunch with Diane Sawyer or Barbara Walters! Maybe a name check in Liz Smith ...

You could try calling a few more sources and--

SOURCES?! Hah! This looks like a job for ...

Jayson Blair and the League of "Imprecise" Journalists! Roll call:

Stephen Glass! Janet Cooke! R. Foster Winans! Mike Barnicle! Doris Kearns Goodwin! The late Stephen Ambrose!! Wait, you two are historians! Clifford Irving! Quit shoving!

Take this: a well-reported, stylishly written clip from a Middle American newspaper no one in Metropolis reads. You may find it ... useful!

Lois! In the name of Romenesko, DON'T!

Hah! Your puny J-school ethics are no match for THIS!

ARGHHH! Can't ... maintain ... proper ... opprobrium ...

Does he know MY secret? That I cooked those quotes in the Lex Luthor profile?

Next: Clark and Lois face trial by unedited fury in THE WRATH OF THE BLOGOSPHERE!