Monday, Jul. 07, 2003

Dems, With Sprinkles

To celebrate the aborning presidential candidacy of former Vermont Governor Howard Dean, Ben & Jerry's (the quintessential Vermont company) served up a limited-edition "Maple-Powered Howard" sundae last week. (Never mind that the real Ben and Jerry favor Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich.) Other Democrats want in on the eponymous ice-cream war: Joseph Lieberman's staff called TIME to stump for the creation of "Key Limeberman Pie," for "the sweet fellow who wants everyone to get their fair share of the pie," while John Kerry's staff members want a scoop of "Red, White and Blueberry Harley-Riding Kerry," a reference to a recent photo of the Massachusetts Senator astride a hog. The possibilities are endless:

JOSEPH LIEBERMAN Marshmallow Mensch Full of tasty marshmallow chads and meets the strict kosher standards of a council of rabbis

BOB GRAHAM Nutty Notation Tastes so good, you'll want to write on and on about it in your journal

AL SHARPTON Peachy Preachy Spoiler Melts in your mouth, then seizes control of your tongue

JOHN EDWARDS Apple Tort Delicious apple chunks cut into tiny pieces to avoid liability. It's class action!

JOHN KERRY Peanut Butter and Jowly Swirls of Heinz(R) ketchup make this a taste for the courageous--and those who like to talk about being courageous