People

By Rebecca Winters Keegan

A SHOWER GIFT FOR THE WOMAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING Some fathers-to-be pick up a pint of Ben & Jerry's for their pregnant wives. That sly fox TOM CRUISE buys an obstetric apparatus. The War of the Worlds star purchased a sonogram machine, which can cost as much as $200,000, to keep an eye on the fetus growing inside his fiance KATIE HOLMES. Exhibiting some newfound restraint--no upholstered furniture was harmed--in a Barbara Walters interview airing this week on ABC, the actor, 43, said he and Holmes, 26, plan to marry next summer or early fall, after the baby is born. As for that sonogram machine, "I am gonna donate it to a hospital when we are done," the star said. O.K., as long as he doesn't expect to give the kid measles shots too.

TABLOIDS 1 YOUNG LOVE 0 Time for a juicy new reality show: Who Gets the McMansion? NICK LACHEY and JESSICA SIMPSON, who climbed from pop music's B list to pop-culture ubiquity via the MTV show Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica, which documented their domestic bliss, have finally affirmed what the tabloids have been vigorously suggesting for some time: they're just not that into each other. "After three years of marriage and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways," the couple said in a joint statement that followed months of denials and strained red-carpet appearances. Simpson, whose televised day-to-day vacuity boosted her career, has an album due out in 2006, a handful of movie roles in the works and a hot-selling cosmetics line. Lachey, who left his boy band 98 Degrees for a solo album that fizzled and a few appearances on Charmed, has, well, a really good bar story.

Q&A DIANE KEATON Diane Keaton is the matriarch of The Family Stone, out Dec. 16.

After the success of Something's Gotta Give, there were supposed to be more sexy roles for women over 50. Oh, of course not. Never. It requires somebody who's a good writer who wants to write about that subject. Who is gonna do that? George Lucas? I don't think so. I'd have to be an alien, a sexy, older alien.

Are you taking to the maternal role instead? In this movie I did. I felt she was a progressive, unusual, forthright mother and loved what she had chosen for her life. Every day I had a little time by myself where I would try and remember my mother. She was this fantastic, spirited woman. She made all my clothes. She and I were co-conspirators.

Your co-stars Jack Nicholson and Sarah Jessica Parker have both commented on your punctuality. Nice and punctual. The two worst words you could say about anybody. I'm bereft of any other kind of quality they could think of.

Do you prefer falling in love onscreen or off? Onscreen. You know where it's going, and you can just enjoy it for what it is. It's not really intimate. Real life is complicated. Onscreen you know what the lines are. Everybody's doing what they're supposed to do. He's not gonna surprise you.

You famously did not take off your clothes for Hair in 1968, and then you did for Something's Gotta Give. What makes a role worth disrobing for? My whole attitude about my body and why it's so special has completely changed. I feel like, Who cares, actually? In Hair, it wasn't essential for me to stand there naked. And it was cold.

As a woman who dated Woody Allen, Al Pacino, Warren Beatty ... I can tell you why. I was a good listener. But then that wears off. They get bored. I was never interested in regular guys. That's a misconceived idea you have when you're young: Oh, you don't really want to marry somebody who's not this wild, exciting, crazy bad boy or this genius. Well, guess what, it's not going to make you a genius. And everybody's life is pretty darn fascinating.

JOHN KERRY WINS ELECTION Just look what a guy can accomplish without a bunch of cranky swift-boat veterans dragging him down. JOHN KERRY may have missed out on the Oval Office, but the Massachusetts Senator managed to win the coveted job of jury foreman in Boston's Suffolk superior court last week. The jury rejected a claim brought by two men suing the city for injuries suffered in a car accident involving a school principal. "I enjoyed it," the former Democratic presidential candidate said of performing his civic duty. "It was very, very interesting and very instructive." However, the former Middlesex County prosecutor said he was "a little surprised" to be chosen. Yes, we too believed the misleading early exit polls suggesting that a bus driver from South Boston would get the gig.