Punchlines

"Earlier today Senate majority leader Bill Frist said that border security will be a 'top priority' in 2006 ... This is like telling people in Mexico, 'Hurry up, you've just got five weeks left before we close.'" --JAY LENO

"A big, huge chunk of marble fell off the Supreme Court building. Thank God Janet Reno was there and made a one-handed catch." --DAVID LETTERMAN

"Bulgaria and Ukraine are considering pulling their forces out of Iraq. Yeah, it's going to happen as soon as they find a car that can seat six people." --CONAN O'BRIEN

"CIA REALIZES IT'S BEEN USING BLACK HIGHLIGHTERS ALL THESE YEARS." --Fake news headline from THE ONION

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons