The Gang's All Here

By Josh Tyrangiel

The Departed -- A remake of the 2002 Hong Kong-- cinema dirty-cop classic Infernal Affairs--marks the third collaboration between Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio but the first between Scorsese and his friend of 30 years, Jack Nicholson. And Matt Damon takes the role of the bad guy--a rarity for him. During The Departed's New York City premiere, all four sat down for the most obscenity-redacted conversation in the history of TIME.

JACK NICHOLSON: [To Damon] Well, you finally get to play a mean ol' son of a bitch! Welcome to the club.

MATT DAMON: I had to. It's where all the good roles are.

NICHOLSON: Well, that's right. You had to change things up, be a swine. [DiCaprio arrives] Leo, my boy.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hey, guys. Great to see everybody.

TIME: If I can interrupt for ...

MARTIN SCORSESE: Try!

TIME: Well ...

SCORSESE: This is going to be a little interview or something, right? Because I get very nervous about interviews.

DAMON: I didn't know they gave Man of the Year to four people.

DICAPRIO: Just remember how great sarcasm translates into print.

SCORSESE: My first 10 years in the business, everything I said was one of those you-have-to-be-there things. Then I learned to be direct in print. Not sure it helped. Anyway, ask something.

TIME: Jack, you've known Martin for years. What surprised you the most about him as a director when you finally worked with him?

NICHOLSON: Here's what was good for me: I gave him a part, and he made it a performance. We've talked about movies forever, so getting moviemaking down to shorthand while we were working was a kick. I've actually known all these fellas a while--though we've rarely talked about anything but work. And we like one another too. Sarcasm is better than that answer, incidentally. [Laughter]

DAMON: My surprise, not to blow smoke, was how good a writer Jack is. [Nicholson rewrote some of his dialogue.]

NICHOLSON: I just thought my guy was written a little too classy.

SCORSESE: Jack has great ideas. Crazy ideas.

DAMON: Like the bar scene.

SCORSESE: It's when Jack's trying to figure out if Leo is a rat. And by the fourth take it was really nice, and Jack asked me, "What do you think I should do?" I said, "Anything you want. We've got a free day tomorrow."

NICHOLSON: All Marty had to say was "free day."

SCORSESE: So we shoot the scene, and all of a sudden you hear a thunk. And I'm thinking, I better say cut. And, thank God, I didn't. Jack picks up a gun and points it at Leo, and he didn't know at that point that there was a gun there. So what you see from Leo is real. I love that.

NICHOLSON: But the prop man told him, goddammit!

DICAPRIO: He said, "All I know is Jack has a handgun, a bottle of whiskey and a fire extinguisher."

TIME: Why a fire extinguisher?

NICHOLSON: I was going to set the table on fire with bourbon out of my mouth, but I forgot they didn't give me real bourbon.

DICAPRIO: [Laughing] It's hard to light Diet Coke.

NICHOLSON: That's the moment you see me get out of character. I'm f___ing furious with my lighter, trying to light colored water on fire. You ever try to light water on fire?

DAMON: Now you've heard stories, like At Close Range--Sean Penn asking for a gun with real bullets. But I've never heard of a guy asking for a fire extinguisher.

NICHOLSON: [To Scorsese, while lighting a cigarette] Hey, where's the f___ing gas mask today?

SCORSESE: I have compressed air on a set because of the smoke. I've been wearing it for years because of asthma. It's just compressed air, but it ties you to a tank. It's a pain when you want to talk to the actors.

DAMON: There's always smoke on a set.

TIME: It's not from smokers?

DAMON: No, they go outside most of the time.

TIME: Do you go outside?

NICHOLSON: No, son. No.

TIME: Each of you has a scene of uncontrollable violent rage in this movie. Is rage easier or more fun to play than other emotions?

NICHOLSON: What kind of a question is this? You got to be able to play anything. Playing your own grandmother pissing on the ground should be no more difficult than carrying the groceries up the driveway before you get shot. That's acting. That's the real answer to the question.

SCORSESE: But anger does fuel the picture.

DICAPRIO: That is true. It was a tension-filled set. Was it fun working with all these guys? No, it wasn't fun. You have the occasional joke to break the tension, but there's this intense energy every moment, people trying to pull their hair out trying to make the thing authentic.

TIME: Matt, you and Leo aren't in the same frame until the climax of the movie. When you finally shot that scene, was there immense pressure to make it really pop?

DAMON: We workshopped that one scene with Marty for a month.

SCORSESE: We kept it late in the schedule. It was about two days of shooting on the roof, and the energy of the two of them together, it's like--I can't explain. For some reason, this is a film that I made that I actually like to watch. Because when it builds to that sequence, it all comes together.

TIME: Are there films you've made that you won't watch?

SCORSESE: Most of them.

NICHOLSON: Once you're in it, it's an artifact as a viewing experience. It's uncomfortable.

TIME: So it's not just false modesty when actors and directors say they hate watching their movies?

DICAPRIO: It takes probably 10 years to detach yourself from the filmmaking experience.

DAMON: You remember every-thing. So you watch it, and it's impossible not to think about what you ate for lunch that day. That's not even getting into all your hopes for what it might have been.

TIME: Are there any of your own movies you have come back to?

NICHOLSON: On TV, if some-thing happens by.

DAMON: If Titanic is on, I cannot turn it off. [Much laughter. DiCaprio nods and smiles wryly.] I say that only half- joking. There are just those movies--GoodFellas is like that for me. You stop what you're doing, and you can't turn it off.

DICAPRIO: There's something about Marty's directing where if his films come on, I watch them every time. It's a rare thing, but you do find these details that you've never seen before. He's obsessive about authenticity and minutiae that you may skip the first time, and then--Oh, my God! Slicing the garlic meant something! They weren't just slicing garlic!

SCORSESE: Kubrick is really the killer. The other night, there it is again--The Shining. What could I do? I had to watch the whole goddam thing.

DICAPRIO: [To Nicholson] I wish you would have worked with Kubrick again, man.

NICHOLSON: Me too. I'm ashamed to admit it, but the first thought through my mind when I heard that he died was not, Oooh, Stanley, my dear friend. It was, F___. Not going to get to do another movie with him. I wouldn't have suspected that would have been my reaction, but it's true.

TIME: If you could have played any role in any other Scorsese movie, which would you pick?

SCORSESE: Interesting.

DICAPRIO: Taxi Driver. Travis Bickle. It's weird because you watch a certain film at a young age and it impacts you in a way you can't even describe. You're watching this maniac, and he's really insane, but you are so immersed in him that you forget you're watching a movie and you start to feel insane. And then there's the profound embarrassment I felt when he brought the girl to the porno theater, and--Oh no! What is he doing? I was with you! I know you've got problems, but I was with you!

DAMON: Leo's answer is good, but I'd probably go Jake LaMotta. Not that I look anything like Jake LaMotta ...

NICHOLSON: Well, the question depends on if it's a part you could play or a part you just want to play. I mean, I can't pick Jake LaMotta. I can't play that. But what's the movie with the crazy fan in it?

DAMON: King of Comedy. Rupert Pupkin. That's one of the greats.

NICHOLSON: Now that's a hard part. That scene with Jerry Lewis walking down the street. I remember in my early days in New York seeing Van Johnson walking down the street and I'd have the same feeling as Pupkin. So I'm not Jake LaMotta. But Rupert Pupkin? I could possibly do it.

DICAPRIO: Hey, guys, let's give a little cheers here. I mean, we're not going to see each other forever.

SCORSESE: O.K., just a dash.

DICAPRIO: [Pours wine.] A true honor working with all of you guys, seriously.

SCORSESE: O.K., eyes here. [Look each other in the eye.] Jack, the eyes.

NICHOLSON: Just like we're in the police force.

SCORSESE: Don't make me nervous.

To read Richard Corliss's review of The Departed, go to time.com/departed