Punchlines

"NFL star Terrell Owens swears he's fine after what police said was a suicide attempt and he said was an allergic reaction. His trainer said he'll be back up and trashing his teammates in no time." JAY LENO

"Did you have the chance to see former President Bill Clinton on the Fox News show on Sunday? He got very upset. He went ballistic. He was loud. He was angry and confrontational. So, Fox gave him a show." DAVID LETTERMAN

"Earlier tonight, President Bush had dinner with the President of Pakistan and the President of Afghanistan. Tomorrow, the President will have breakfast with Count Chocula and Captain Crunch." CONAN O'BRIEN

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons