People

THE SCORE

GOOGLE NEWS HITS + GOOGLE BLOG HITS = THE SCORE

1 Are Jessica Simpson and John Mayer on or off? The New York Post's PAGE SIX can't decide, first saying "our spies saw Mayer flirting with other women ... and overheard the shaggy-haired musician tell friends he was 'happy being single.'" Later, Page Six claimed the two had reunited. Maybe somebody ought to ask Johnsica? SCORE: 2,906

2 Michael Jackson has decided not to block the auction of some of his vintage memorabilia, including the handwritten lyrics to ABC, his black silk jacket with gold sequined epaulets and a drawing of a young boy dated 1994. Blogsite DEFAMER cheekily predicts a potential result at the auction: "Sold! To the lady in the back row with no nose!" SCORE: 1,788

3 Donald Trump says he's finished with The Apprentice and moving on to "a major new TV venture." Media blog JOSSIP wonders, "What's Donald to do? Perhaps it'll be a Mad Money rip-off, where you can get stock advice in between plugs for Trump vodka and Trump magazine." SCORE: 1,168

4 Frustrated with reporters' "empty questions" at the Cannes Film Festival, Oscar-winning director Roman Polanksi took the press corps to task. "I think it's really the computer that's brought you down to this level. You're no longer interested in what's going on in the cinema. Frankly, let's all go and have lunch." Hmm. Was this disgust talking--or just hunger? SCORE: 900

5 Deep breath, America: Paula Abdul has broken her nose by (stay with us) falling to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua, Tulip. She still appeared on the American Idol finale, chipped cartilage and all. On the TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, Abdul's supportive co-host Simon Cowell inquired solicitously, "How's the dog?" SCORE: 600

TIMELINE

The Simpsons just reached its 400th episode, and a long-awaited movie is due out July 27. Here's a look back at 18 years in Springfield:

SKETCHED COMEDY Introduced as a short on The Tracey Ullman Show, cartoonist Matt Groening's subversive serial about a dysfunctional American family became its own show in 1989, with bratty Bart as its star.

THE YELLOW AGE The show soon outgrew Bart and embraced unabashedly brainy satire. Homer, the Everydunce, became the centerpiece. The beloved two-parter "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" ranks among the best season-ending cliffhangers in any TV genre.

YOU CAN GO HOMER AGAIN No longer a ratings powerhouse, The Simpsons (with its 23 Emmys) is TV's longest-running sitcom. Will the movie end its long yellow streak? Don't eat your shorts just yet--Fox can't be eager to fill a gaping, Homer-shaped hole.